WELCOME HOME, CLEO JANE.

So many things to say of our newest addition and after a month plus of very broken, insufficient sleep, she continues to prove to be as spicy as we guessed she'd be in utero. In only knowing Cleo for a short month, I can already tell her and Curran are entirely different people. I mean, I knew they would be, but I expected a helpless little baby to sort of look, cry, poop, and eat the same. Her entrance into this world was fast and somewhat dramatic (which explains a lot about her personality now that I type that out. She deserves some empathy for the post traumatic stress. I was there.). I planned for an epidural, which did not work out this time, and that change of expectation made for an overall rough and loud few hours for everyone in the room. Hugh was a champ trying to encourage someone who was in no place to be comforted but he tried anyway. I'm certain it was difficult to watch. Birth is a crazy miracle and not for the weak of heart, that's for sure. 

I remember Hugh and I discussing the seeming impossibility of loving two children with the complete intensity that we felt for one. How was that going to be possible? What is more than everything? It fills up every cranny of your heart parts. I didn't get how people do this over and over but it makes sense. More crannies appear that you didn't know were waiting to be filled. Loving a child is so vulnerable, so protective, deeper than I've ever known, and possibly because it takes so much work. Not at the loving them part necessarily, but the minutia of it all. How you can be so obsessed with a little person and then in a short span of shrieking, irrational (especially in the middle of the night) moments wish they would just go away is complicated and hard. A baby, in all his or her dependency, is so draining, but they get you back with these moments of joy that are unlike anything I've ever felt. Maybe I am not explaining it right or if you're a parent yourself, perhaps that makes sense. 

We're slowly getting the hang of what our life will look like with the two of them. While pregnant, strangers with kids close in age themselves would strike up conversation with me after they did the mental math between my very young toddler and pregnant belly. "It's so hard the first year or two, then it's great," they'd all say. Really, all of them, so I am trying to keep in mind that we are doing the hardest of the work right now.  I am slowly learning to ask for more help and accepting favors (which is otherwise hard for me). I want to be mindful of making time for my introverted self to be alone - be that going for a workout without a stroller or working while not simultaneously entertaining a child. 

Cleo girl, so far, I can tell you are intense and firey. That may make this intense and fiery sometimes, but I find that quality in people so admirable. I hope you grow up feeling encouraged to find out what you are passionate about and chase after it. Whoever you choose to love will be so lucky. Your dad and I are far from perfect, but we commit to loving you and your brother the best we're able - and in the ways you receive it, most importantly. SO glad you are here. I love you. 

 rug, pillow, basket, stool // Land of Nod

custom print // Moe Paper Co.

shelving and planter // target

THE FAMILY FORTE. HYATT ZIVA LOS CABOS

A few weeks ago, we jumped on a flight south to San Jose del Cabo, Mexico in partnership with the new all inclusive Hyatt Ziva and Hyatt Zilara All Inclusive Resorts. I'm not really one for reviews here, more so just sharing a few photos, but amidst a busy fall and knowing a baby en route would be slowing us down soon, we wanted to take an easy family vacation. An active 16-month old on a plane is a little rough and perhaps he is still too young to fully partake in all things "all inclusive" but it was nice to be away regardless. We ate crispy fish tacos by the pool, both got a spa treatment (which my pregnant body would have made the trip for exclusively), and walked the beach. Having worked in luxury hotels for a handful of years, one of the most important things to me is customer service. I'm not talking ultra-luxury, royalty treatment, but staff who stop and say hello, or servers who make it easier to be in a restaurant with a kid, or one very specific instance where an employee anticipated and provided a much appreciated service without us even asking for it. In my opinion, that sort of kindness can trump a sheet's thread count or how quick the room service is. My dining curiosity may not fit the ideal client for an all-inclusive, but the mom in me really liked it. You truly don't have to think about anything. I am the travel planner between Hugh and I, and it was so nice to just show up and play things by ear; knowing everything we'd need would be on site and included.

The trip was sponsored by Hyatt Ziva and Hyatt Zilara All Inclusive Resorts. All statements are my own. 

NECTARINE, TOMATO + BURRATA CAPRESE

It's a version of the same conversation we had at our old apartment when I was pregnant with Curran. As a couple, you become so used to the cadence that is just the two of you. There is both quiet and dance parties and nights when you feel like cooking and others when it's refreshing to get dressed up and go out. Before kids, it's hard to imagine how he, she, they, will fit in to a rhythm that is not always easy, but familiar. But somehow, and not without tears and grace in the adjustment, it's as if I don't remember our son not being here. I don't pine for the quieter days or cleaner floors or less expensive grocery bill. I never felt something was missing, but he makes us feel more whole. "What will it be like with another little person around here?" I ask. It's more rhetorical. I don't expect Hugh to have the answer but suppose by asking, I want him to tell me it's going to be alright, that we can do it, that we will adjust just like we did the first time and he does. 

There is a big sliding mirror behind our bathroom sink and not a beautiful one. It is heavy, hard to open and has a yellow gold trim dating it's origin to the 70's when the house was built. I stand profile to it to take in the shape of my belly. My thighs and hips are showing the lack of exercise and bean and cheese burritos that have taken the place of my pre-pregnancy gigantic green salads. Same song, one year later, I feel like I was just doing this? I was. My body has carried a child, now growing another one, and in my own self consciousness' that can often steal all of the joy from those magical feats, I remember the work that that belly, thighs and hips are doing. The growing and the nursing, your body doesn't feel like your own for well over a year and I think it's ok to find that a little crazy making. I am growing a little girl, our daughter, and vanity aside, it's the most magical process. It feels different this time - harder, hungrier, less beautiful, if I may be so honest. They are babies and then they are PEOPLE! Curran has his own language that we can sometimes understand and gives hugs with a little pat and deduces that any toy that does not move or make noise needs a battery ("mommy. daddy. bowerry?"). He waves at airplanes and dislikes the car seat and really likes to throw things "awey". I, we, are completely taken by him. How does one do that twice?!?! So much to process and anticipate but come January, we will be welcoming a baby girl to the family and I may just burst from how completely I love my babies. 

Thank goodness I do recipe development for work because it forces me to cook when I otherwise can easily talk myself out of it lately. Ashley and I have been developing recipes for Electrolux this past year and they have a seriously delicious looking collection going on over there now. Because it has been blazing hot here and the less heating elements I have to turn on, the better, I wanted to point you towards this super simple salad. I realize we're seeing the end of stonefruits and tomatoes now but they are still sweet and juicy so get to it. 

NECTARINE, TOMATO + BURRATA CAPRESE

Serves 2-4

The full recipe can be found at Live.Love.Lux. along with a heap of other great tomato recipes this month. Think of this as less of a recipe and more an assembly of produce and creamy cheese at it's best. I like this with a bit of balsamic too or pile the goods on garlic rubbed toast.